Hear Me Roar: My Coming (and Being) Out

(I’ve not blogged in quite awhile, but the mood struck me today, and with good reason. So, I’m dusting off this little corner of the ‘net and putting some words here for you. Take them or leave them; they remain, regardless. Cheers!)

“I am here to live out loud.” -Emile Zola

Coming out never happens once and it’s over. Coming out as lesbian, gay, bi, trans*, queer (or whatever little category feels best describes you succinctly) is a continual process of your everyday life, just as asserting any other part of yourself is. I’ve told my story, in whole or part, to many people over the years, but I don’t believe I’ve ever truly put the pen to paper – so to speak – for it. To celebrate NCOD 2013, I’ll give you a glimpse of how it went for me.

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Posted by on October 11, 2013 in Uncategorized


Whipping It Out: 10s vs 25s, World Ranks, and What Counts (To Me)

“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” –The Beatles

A few weeks have passed since the launch of MoP. Prior to the Mists rising, there was a good deal of buzz on the topic of 10man versus 25man raids. Folks in both camps dug in their heels, and I even saw a couple of friendships declared lost because people from the larger of the two groups admitted to thinking folks who run 10s are inferior in skill and get pandered to because the content is easier.

As the flood waters of fresh content rose swiftly, the arguments died down and most all focused on getting capped, geared and ready to if not starting to raid. In the Twitterverse, intense arguments over equality were replaced with bitching about faction grinds, loot not dropping in Heroics, and general freak-outs over having so much to do to be imba. I for one was glad to hear the caterwauling over size difference die down and hoped (albeit naively) that it was gone for good.

As I said, this was a naive assumption.

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Posted by on October 16, 2012 in Fun and Games


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Marriage Equality, Butter Cream Frosting, and Never-ending Passion

Sometimes a visit to the past can leave us feeling a bit worn out, down, or just wondering where we’ve spent the time since. In doing a bit of poking around and digging through things, I found an email exchange I had back in the year 2005 when I was in my Bachelors program. This was with a fellow undergrad classmate, whom we’ll call Robb.

With all the fuss over a certain fast food chain this week, I found this whole exchange timely even if it has seven years of dust on the top. Maybe it can help someone see that it isn’t about someone’s freedom to say they don’t like something (which the chain’s owner is perfectly free to do), but rather what they do when they donate millions of dollars to organizations that lobby our government to NOT aid in preventing the killings of gays and lesbians worldwide… when they fund places that head up things like “gay cure” centers, which use things like rape as a means to attempt to “fix” homosexuality (the idea of that turning my blood cold before it begins to boil).

It isn’t about the chicken, the fact the owner dislikes something and says so, or “Christian” values. This is about not giving in to hate because of difference. This is about saying it’s not okay to spend a ton of money to let people different from you die versus feed hungry folks, educate our youth, take care of our veterans, and better the world through investment rather than annihilation.

This is about stopping people from preventing all Americans from enjoying a full life, which is supposedly something on which we pride ourselves as a country.

This is about butter cream frosting… in a way. You’ll understand what I mean as you read on.

I’ve done a bit of censoring on the names/locations in the content below, but the rest remains in tact (including egregious spelling errors and such). 

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Posted by on August 5, 2012 in Life


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Why One Feminist Loves Game of Thrones (and you might, too)

I had little interest in Game of Thrones when it aired. I am not a big television watcher and most certainly couldn’t care less about some new show HBO was going to roll out. Season 1 came and went without turning my head and even the insistence of my best friend could not get me to attempt a sitting for a single episode. Season 2 arrived, and the hype had been building. Again, I heard commentary from the BFF gallery (a la “OMG WATCH THIS SHOW NOW!” and the like). With a sigh and a free hour or two one weekend, I gave it a shot. The first episode seemed dry and boring. I vowed to watch one more in hopes it would be decent, at best. After plowing through the first season in a near-marathon and catching up on the second season, I bought the book series and began tearing through it on my Kindle Fire.

I was hooked.

Those of you who know me may not understand why I – a proud feminist and a woman who believes females should be able fare well and can most certainly handle their own if not outperform males when given the same rules and put on equal ground – would dare watch the show let alone let myself fall prey to the books. I will explain why (even coming in late to this party, and knowing that someone elsewhere may have said the same), and quite succinctly:

It is actually a great story for women.

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Posted by on July 5, 2012 in Fun and Games


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A Bit of RP: Moonstruck

I (make attempts to) write fiction/fanfic for my WoW characters, or at least some of them. Yes, yes; I’m a roleplayer (RPer).

“Moonstruck” is my first published piece in quite awhile, written in reply to a post by my longtime writing partner, Kalico (the reply to her piece, Talking to the Moon). This little blurb is written to blend with an in-game RP currently happening, and it kind of shows what little snag my character is in as well as how rusty I’ve become at writing. (Damn you, real life.)

If you’re into this sort of thing, give it a look-see. Bellamuerte (more affectionately known as “Bells” and named long before that dolt of a Mary Sue from Twilight was a glimmer of bad idea in its creator’s eye) is nearly as mouthy as I am… Light and magics save us all.


Taken from: Accounts, Observations, and Musings: The Life and Times of Bellamuerte Boldvalor, et al

Something felt off regardless of how she shifted in the crimson cushioned seat. Soft, thick fabric whispered with each adjustment, the Knight’s fingertips gliding over the thick, gilded arms. Her digits curled over the rounded ends of the armrests, grasping talon-like over the curved wood as she leaned forward to examine the legs.

Weren’t those ball-and-claw feet before?

For some reason, she could not clearly recall if they had been. Reclining against the wide, ornately scrawled back, the chair’s cushion gave a quiet hiss as her black tunic and crisp white shirt kissed the blood-hued cloth. A sound from the edge of the room’s darkness threatened to divert her attention, the raven-locked matriarch’s concentration wavering.

“It…” Her words fell away, head giving a gentle shake as an irritated sigh slipped from her. “Something isn’t quite ri-…”  

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Posted by on July 2, 2012 in RP/Fanfic/Fiction


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Reframing Equality Using Gamer Terms

Would anyone seek to play a game in which they knew that, regardless of the amount of leveling, skill building, achievements earned, gold and materials gathered, armor obtained, or time played, they would never be able to win? Certainly new content is added to games in the forms of downloadable content (DLC) and expansion packs (expacs) to create new challenges for players when they have reached a zenith and maxed their potential, but would you play if you knew there was no defeating the end boss, regardless of what you did?

Moving away from an analogy of something more Player-versus-Environment (PvE) and looking at Player-versus-Player (PvP), would you sit in battleground queues or work together in arena teams if you knew that, regardless of what you did, you would never win because the other teams you face all had one class (or more) that was simply indestructible as compared to others?

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Posted by on July 1, 2012 in Fun and Games, Life


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Looking for Female Voices from the Gaming Community

Do you have a story or anecdote regarding your experiences as a female gamer? Do you have tips, tricks, or suggestions on how to battle negative interactions with others when being a female gamer becomes “an issue”?

For the Clockwork Compass series Damage Per Second, I am currently seeking interviews with female gamers (including those who identify and/or gender express as female (MTF)) regarding experiences they have had in the gaming community.

While the article series focuses on the damage done due to misogyny, stereotyping, and sexism, there is no requirement that your voiced experience has to be negative. Positive experiences are welcome as well as testimonials of negative things you have encountered. We are looking for honest recounts of situations to put a voice and lend context to the current community environment for female gamers.

Participants will be interviewed via a questionnaire sent directly through email. The degree of anonymity is up to the participant and all information requested to be kept confidential will be held as such.

If you are interested in contributing your tale, please email clockworkcompass at gmail dot com (damn you, spammers) no later than Friday, July 6, 2012 and include DPS story interview in the subject line.

 Replies to the interview questionnaires are requested back no later than Tuesday, July 10, 2012.

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Posted by on June 29, 2012 in Fun and Games


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